I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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