...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
