If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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