Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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