True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
