I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
