did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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