i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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