it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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