All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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