I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
