I cut my penus on the lid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
