it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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