The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
