you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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