Can Purell be used as lube?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
