legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
