worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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