reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
