I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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