we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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