i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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