Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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