This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
