i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize