So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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