Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
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