I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!