I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
