shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
