oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
