this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
