we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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