Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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