I puked a lego.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
