so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
