trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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