Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize