my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
