Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
