That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
