I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
