he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
