shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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