I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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