Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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