i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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