he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
