I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
