apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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