The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Even my vagina gasped.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
