I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
