hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
