I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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