im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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