ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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