He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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