She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
