i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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