Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
