Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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