I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You pole danced in your parka.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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