Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
