I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
