hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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